Hello, my sweet friends...
WOW, I can hardly believe it's been almost two weeks since my last post. I'm struggling to try to remember where all this time has gone. Perhaps I can just start as far back as I can remember and hit the highlights? O:-)
Okay, first - if there are any men readers here that happen to be someone's daddy, then I'd like to wish you a belated, VERY HAPPY Father's Day! My apologies for not getting my "well wishes" out BEFORE your big day. Fatherhood is a truly amazing gift that GOD has given the men in our lives. Being a parent is such a blessing and I do hope that it's never taken for granted. (I say this because I've done just that with the gift of being a mom to our little ones) I ashamedly tell you that I've missed so many moments that I'll never get back doing things that could've waited. All of that said to say that I hope and pray that we realize the role we play in our children's lives and that we'll cherish every moment.
Link is an AMAZING daddy and it's always pure JOY to watch him play with our boys! Here are a few pics of him with our little men...
This one almost brings tears to my eyes... You can see Link's love for Brent as he gently caresses his head.. at the same time you can almost see his heart breaking
Okay.. I'm going to move on with our rewind.... or I'll end up "a mess" and this will be another post that will end up abandoned before I ever get started.
We were blessed to be able to keep my sister's children last week while she and her husband celebrated their anniversary. (15 years, I think?) Yes, having 2 extra kiddos around was a lot of fun! ESPECIALLY when it's those two! Ashley has become one of my very best friends (she's almost 14!).
Clay was Brent's best bud and is now filling the role of a much missed older brother. He and the boys get out and ride through the pasture (they're happiest when it's nice and muddy)! They like to build things together, play games, and do lots of other wild and crazy boy things. (Most I'm sure they hope we won't learn about... hehe)
Ashley took good care of me while she was here. She helped keep the housework done and was great mental support as I conquered some work in Brent's room. I'm in one of those places that I wanted to do SOMETHING, but I didn't really want to change what was his. SOOO... I bought some new bedding - a comforter that I KNOW he'd have LOVED and I started hanging some of his things.
We were given a nice tapestry by Link's family when we lost Brent. It's got three beautiful bucks on it. Two over to one side, and one on the other. They said it was "our three bucks." Well, since Brent LOVED to hunt I thought it was only fitting to hang it above his bed. There's also a photo of Zach & Gabe that I had blown up - it's on canvas... it's now hanging on the wall in Brent's room. I KNOW that Brent would LOVE the new look of his room and I think that kept me from feeling guilty about changing a few things.
I struggle at times with how to deal with things like that... I want to respect his memory, and yet there are things that I know he'd want to see changed. It's crazy... just more mental struggle that I suppose I'll have to work through.
My friend Kim asked about seeing the tapestry.. so I thought I'd go ahead and share some pictures of Brent's room. Now, let me add a disclaimer... I do NOT claim to be an interior decorator! Much of what you'll see are things that were there while Brent was still here. His door is EXACTLY as it was.. the things hanging on and around his windows are the same. Most of what I did was add new bedding and hang the tapestry (and some photos). I also put out more pics of Brent and the boys. One other thing.. the REALLY LOUD paint is from when we first built the house. It was "cute" with their stuff when they were 7, 5, and 2, maybe not so much now. However this is another of those "things" that I'm just not ready to change.
Well, that cleaning frenzy sparked another...
I cleaned out my closet and in doing so I found a box of baby things that I'd saved. Inside of Brent's baby book was the first store bought pregnancy test, the little band that was on his wrist (or was it his ankle?) while in the hospital, along with some other items. I started to flip through the pages of that baby book and began to read about the things he did at one month.. then two. I read (and remembered) how he used to like to twist my hair and sometimes suck on it to fall asleep. I attempted to tell Link of my find, but all I could get out was that I found the first copy of Brent's little foot... then I began to sob. He held me and reminded me that I'd have him back one day.. we just have to be patient.
So those are a few of the things that we've experienced lately.....
Now, to try to steer us back to happier thoughts... I've also kept Allie Grace a few times in recent days. You know I can't resist taking pictures! These are a few of my favorites of her....
Okay, I PROMISE that I'll try not to be gone so long the next time. I can't say how much I've missed all of you and how BLESSED I am to know that you're still checking in. Oh, I've also enjoyed reading all the sweet comments you've left. I hope to start making my way around to your blogs soon to start catching up. THANKS AGAIN for your support!