Friday, August 8, 2008

My late post from the 4th (Yes, of JULY!)

Hello, Friends!

I thought I'd try to "backtrack" and do a post that I think I told you about a while back. I had a total "GOD EXPERIENCE" back around the 4th of July and I've been wanting to share it, but I had to take the time to load the picture that goes with the story. It was AMAZING.. a TRUE GIFT from our LORD!

SO, I know I've mentioned before how hard the holidays are for us. In some ways, it doesn't feel any different (because we MISS Brent EVERY day) and in other ways... it just seems to make us more AWARE that he's just not here.

Well, the 4th was one of Brent's ALL TIME FAVORITE holidays. I was excited this year about the upcoming family fun, and yet my heart was breaking because he wasn't here. I remembered how Brent used to look forward to going with Pap-Paw Sam to get the hog. I remembered how he loved to stay up late (to be the first to get to the ribs) ;-) I remembered all of the other things he loved about it.

So... I'd been battling a little "spell of depression" as the day had finally arrived. (It was actually July 3, but that's when half the fun always began) I'd been doing some cleaning in the house, and as I mentioned feeling a little down when I found it...

"IT" was a little note that Brent had made for me some time back. To be honest, I don't even remember ever getting it. I have NO IDEA WHEN he made it, or why. All that I know was that I couldn't have needed it more than I did that day.

As I said, I don't ever remember seeing it before. I think maybe that made it even more special. It was almost like it was Heaven-sent! (No, I don't REALLY think it was, but it sure felt like it!)

I hate that I didn't get to share my special story before now. As I've mentioned earlier, this has been one BUSY summer. I'm quite thankful it has been.. I've noticed that it's been a little harder in recent days to redirect my thoughts when I start to get down. It seems to be that way for the boys too. At least for Gabe. (He's our youngest.. at 7 years old) There have been so MANY times lately that he's started crying and saying he misses Brent. Yes, I KNOW we're all supposed to still miss him. It'd be crazy to think otherwise. I guess what I'm saying is that for some reason the "missing him" has been a little more frequent. As I say that, I'll ask you to please remember us as we approach the fall - January 2. Maybe we're subconsciously recognizing that this IS the time of year when things started to go REALLY wrong?

Okay, since we do serve an AMAZING GOD, I MUST share some of the GOOD things that we're experiencing right now. As I think I've mentioned.. we've really been working on being consistent with our disciplining the boys. I didn't realize that a little time spent "NOT letting things go" in areas such as attitude, how quickly they respond to us, and how they treat each other could have a MAJOR IMPACT on them. With all of that said, we HAVE been more consistent. I've responded with scripture as well as rebuke... and oh my, the transformation has been GLORIOUS! They're so pleasant to be around... school is going better... and they're actually learning not to fight with each other. (This is part of what's been bothering Gabe. He's been miserable, taunted even, by memories of himself being mean to Brent)

All of THAT to share this sweet video. It's of Gabe attempting to quote some scripture they're memorizing. You'll hear me correcting him (by offering a word or two) in attempt to help him make it through. Oh, and I'll post the passage so you can read it as he quotes it. It'll be just below the video. (Oh, the video has to be "approved" by "Godtube." If it's not here now, check back) =-)

1 Peter 3:8-9 (New Living Translation)

8 Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters.[a] Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. 9 Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it.

Alrighty, I'm going to sign off now. Before I do, I want to say, "THANKS," for all of the encouraging messages you've left. I hope to get around to responding to them REALLY SOON! I'd been saying our computer connection was really slow, but I've almost decided that it's our dinosaur computer rather than the provider. I'm thinking of buying Link (and myself) a new desktop for our anniversary. He will LOVE it since he's learned to "play around" online and I will too! It'd be SO NICE to be able to actually get around faster. It takes SOOOOOOOOOO LONG for our pages to load. (Okay, I'm supposed to do all things without grumbling or complaining.. so I think it's time for me to go - BEFORE I get myself into trouble... HA!!!!!!)

WHOOPS... one last thing...

PLEASE, if you see Gabe somewhere... PLEASE DO NOT tell him you saw this?? O;-)

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Sheryl said...

So good to hear from you!! Can I just say how much loved that Gabe kept wanting to say He will pay you for it!! That cracked me up. Paying seems better than blessing.

Loved the message from Brent, can't imagine what that did for your heart. Also cannot imagine how you all are grieving. Please know that as God brings you to my mind I will lift you up.

With Love,

Susan said...

Oh my goodness, this was just PRICELESS!!

I could snatch him up and give him a big kiss. Please tell Gabe how PROUD I am of him memorizing that LONG scripture!!

Tonya, oh what an awesome surprise!! I know your heart must of literally melted as you found that note from Brent.

I believe God revealed it to you at the perfect time you needed it.

I've been praying extra hard for you guys. I miss Brent too.

I'll be calling you♥

Reba said...

Good job, Gabe. Learn those verses while you are young with a young mind. It is much more difficult when you are older like me. :) I love the note yiou found. Steven Curtis Chapman has been talking about that lately with little things he has found from Maria or related to her...I think he calls them breadcrumbs from Heaven. I do believe God can comfort a heart with little surprises, whether it is just now finding a note from Brent or seeing a cardinal like the Duckworths see. Oh, and I just broke down and got a laptop (because I am lazy and want to lay down to surf :) and then we have wireless...the difference is night and day with our old dinosaur. I still have to use it on occasion and am amazed at how very slow it is. :)

mommydani78 said...

i read your believing God post on laced with grace...i loved it! your blog is wonderful-thank you for sharing your journey. i can't imagine your grief and i will pray for your family.