Thursday, April 9, 2009

Please pray for our son..

Hello, Sweet Friends..

I had a post already scheduled to post around midnight. I'll leave it just below, as it was already written. For now.. I want to ask for prayer.

See, since Brent got sick (showing NO symptoms other than back pain).. and since losing him.. well, I'm a bit of a cancer NUT! I laugh at myself, but it's really not funny at all. My first thoughts when one of the boys complain with pain is to wonder if it's cancer. (Then I start running the symptoms through my mind and matching them up to the types of cancers we learned about while at St. Jude) I know.. I'm supposed to walk by FAITH and NOT by sight. For me, I think there's a little guilt for not catching Brent's cancer sooner. (I mean, truly and logically I KNOW that there was NO WAY to know any sooner.. and still.. I'm tempted to feel guilt)

With all of that said, Zach told me yesterday when we were coming inside (we'd been hanging clothes on the clothesline) that he almost passed out. (My poor kids are hypochondriacs now too. Oh, and if you're wondering.. I DON'T express my concerns to, or in front of them.. they were around DOZENS, perhaps even HUNDREDS of kids with cancer.. I mean, what else are they to think?) I didn't think much about it then, but today it happened again. It REALLY SCARED Zach. We had him to come in and rest for a while. He's had 3-4 episodes since. Now, logically I'm thinking, HOPING, and PRAYING that it's just inner-ear trouble. Yet, I don't want to miss anything because I'm self conscious about worrying TOO much.

My prayer request is this: Please pray that the doctor will CORRECTLY diagnose whatever the problem is TOMORROW. (I'm taking him in early in the morning) I feel silly even asking you guys to pray about this, but I couldn't live with myself if we had another child to have a serious illness and I passed it off as nothing. (I've met at least 3 families that have multiple children with cancer.. yes, it's rare, but it's ALWAYS on my mind)

UGH.. I hate to even share all of this with you. I sure don't want you to worry that I'm worrying myself sick. I'm truly not. I mean, I don't want anything to be wrong, but I also don't EVER want to have any unnecessary regrets. I KNOW that whatever the future holds for all of us - GOD IS IN CONTROL! (Kind of makes you want to break out singing that old Twila Paris song, doesn't it?? Ha!! Sorry, trying to make a funny)

Okay, that's enough rambling for me! I DO APPRECIATE your prayers and I thank you in advance for lifting Zach (and our family) up. ☺

WHOOPS.. one other thing. I don't know if you've noticed, but on my sidebar I have that little "Twitter" thingy. I'll TRY to remember to post a tweet on what we learn AS SOON as the doc walks out of the room. (For anyone that might not know.. it'll be like a mini update and I can do it right from my phone) Otherwise, I'll update the blog as soon as I can.

NOW... I'll really stop rambling.. LOL....

You may now return to the regularly scheduled update already in progress.... (Sorry! Man, I'm in a cheesy mood tonight, eh?) Image hosted by

Here I go again...

Yes, I'm posting ANOTHER video... O:-)

This one VERY CLEARLY shares the gospel. Sharing the gospel is the whole reason I started blogging. I wanted our journey to help others. I wanted people to see that you can be in the fire, and come out on the other side still loving, and still TRUSTING JESUS. There is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY that we could have any peace with our lives and where we are today if it wasn't for the promise that JESUS paid our sin-debt.. that HE LIVES within us.. that HE is carrying our burdens and broken hearts. HE ALONE is our JOY AND STRENGTH! I never meant for this to be about me and who I am, or who I'm not. I truly only want my life to point to JESUS.

I hope you enjoy this video. ☺



Sheryl said...

praying for you, for zach and for the doctors. that feeling of passing out is sure a scary one. will be waiting to hear what you find out.

love to you,

Liz (Loving Mom 2 Boys) said...

I'll be praying for you both. for you all.
love you loads...

Lynn said...

Hope Zach's okay! You know I'm praying hard!!!!!!!!!!!
Psalms 28:6-7 Blessed be the LORD, because he hath heard the voice of my supplications. The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him.
Prayer Bears
My email address

LisaShaw said...

I'm standing in prayer for Zach Sweetie. I also pray for peace for you. Wisdom for the Doctors.

Love you!

Tracy said...

Praying for your sweet Zach, also for wisdom on the part of his doctors, and peace for his Momma. I can certainly understand your tendency toward doubt I would do the same.

Love & prayers,

Melanie said...

Tonya, I am glad you posted this so that we could be praying for you all his morning. Praying for the Lord's comfort and peace to wash over you as you await the doctor's visit and subsequent diagnosis.

Love you!

Jennifer said...

Praying today for your son...believing in God's healing for Zach. Praying for ALL of you....asking God to comfort Gabe as he remembers certain things about his brother, Brent.

Blessings to you all,

Susan said...

I'm glad you posted this too Tonya.

Prayer is a powerful tool and God asks us to do this.

Believing for a GOOD report!!

We love you and your family so much.

I'll be waiting for your tweet!

crispy said...

Praying for you and an answer that will put your mind at ease.

BTW, my youngest has a heart condition that causes her to feel like that a lot. Like she is ready to pass out. It is just something that she will have to learn to live with. Hopefully it will be a quick and easy answer.

Tonya said...

I know exactly how you feel and you do not have to explain yourself and you are not showing less faith. Trusting God is not the same as doing what God put in us as moms to be concerned and want our kids to live! When my boy first got sick, I prayed for God's will, hesitant to ask for his life at times until God spoke to me one day and I realized, God made me this want him to LIVE...and I continued trusting the Lord but full heartedly begged for his life.
I never used to think twice about my kids being sick and I have a similar hurtful memory from when my B got sick...I often don't share it. Having a child with cancer just does so many things to you good and hard...I don't know how people do it without the Lord.
I am praying for your precious boy and for God given wisdom in the doctor. Your new friend Tonya

Beth E. said...

I'm praying for Zach AND for you. Please let me know how he is.

Love you,

Special K said...

First of all, don't apologize for sharing your heart...after what you have been through its understandable...and yes I agree walk by faith...but sometimes life is scary and we react...and its ok...God knows your heart!

Praying for Zach...and the doctor for wisdom!

Praying His will, His way! (that's kind of my life motto right now so I am sharing it with you sweet friend)


Kay said...

I certainly understand how the mind jumps from Point A to 'C'. I've been worried over growing pains (possible bone cancer), headaches from allergies (possible brain tumor) and this past year, sudden onset illness (possible who knows what) but turned out to be viral. I hear ya!

Hope you hear news quickly!

Marsha said...

I'm praying, Tonya. No, you are not paranoid or an alarmist. You are a Mother who loves her children deeply and wants to be cautious.

Thanks for the Twitter update.

Tea With Tiffany said...

I'm a recovering fear of cancer nut myself. I don't want to be that either. My brother had cancer at age 3(hard for me to watch as a teenager), my best friend's mom(who was like a second mom to me)had cancer and died when I was 20. Hard!!

Asking for prayer is huge and I'm proud of you for that. It takes courage and the enemy would love to have you not share. God's winning this time!

I'm learning to capture those fear thoughts and send them packing. It's a trigger for me and the enemy knows it. And like you, my kids are a bit freaky if they get sick. They look at me with fear in their eyes and say, "What is going to happen to me, Mom?" I try to play it off as no big deal. I'm sure they see otherwise.

Anyway, I know your pain. I pray for peace and for this issue to be nothing serious. May you find rest today!

Better check your tweet.



He And Me + 3 said...

I will pray for Zach...I sometimes get those dizzy spells too. Please keep us posted.

Dawn~^i^Brandon^i^, Jordan, and Seth's mom said...

Hey I am just getting back to checking on my friends....I will definetly pray...and don't feel silly. Always put your prayer request out there, and your heart's emotions. No matter how silly you feel it is...cause ya know the enemy really hates that, and there is nothing more that I love than to make him mad!

I am praying and agreeing with you!