Monday, November 5, 2007

"Marriage Monday"

1st Monday Every Month at Chrysalis
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My friend Susan told me that the topic today was that of submission. I know this can be a really sticky subject.. one that many would like to "write off" saying that the commands given by GOD were for women YEARS ago. (Been there, done that) They couldn't possibly apply to us today... COULD THEY? What does GOD'S Word have to say about change? His WORD NEVER changes... WHO is THE WORD?

John 1:1, 14

The Word Became Flesh

1In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2He was with God in the beginning.

14The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us. We have seen His glory, the glory of the One and Only,[d] Who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

Now that we know WHO the Word is, let's see what the Bible tells us about "The Word" (Jesus)

Hebrews 13:8

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

No, GOD'S WORD DOES NOT change. We also know that "all scripture was God-breathed."

2 Timothy 3:16
All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness

Let's see what GOD has to say about marriage...

Titus 2:1-5

What Must Be Taught to Various Groups

1You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine. 2Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance.
3Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

Oh my! I wonder how many serious arguments might have been avoided in my home if I had always done things GOD'S way? Yes, submission my be hard at times, but isn't GOD'S way is SO MUCH BETTER THAN ours? I'm not speaking as one who thinks she's got it "together." I've learned over MANY years (15 years of marriage) and through much disobedience to GOD, that HIS WAY IS BEST. Now, that's NOT to say that I'm not still making mistakes DAILY. I'm still learning... I'm still battling the flesh. The truth is, the more that we stay IN GOD'S WORD, the MORE we become like HIM. I want to be pleasing to GOD and to my hubby. I DO NOT want to "malign the Word of God" that's SERIOUS business. Now, I wanted to see what the dictionary said about the word "malign" here's what I found....

Main Entry: 2malign
Function: transitive verb
Etymology: Middle English, from Middle French maligner to act maliciously, from Late Latin malignari, from Latin malignus
: to utter injuriously misleading or false reports about : speak evil of
synonyms MALIGN , TRADUCE , ASPERSE , VILIFY , CALUMNIATE , DEFAME , SLANDER mean to injure by speaking ill of. MALIGN suggests specific and often subtle misrepresentation but may not always imply deliberate lying . TRADUCE stresses the resulting ignominy and distress to the victim . ASPERSE implies continued attack on a reputation often by indirect or insinuated detraction both candidates aspersed the other's motives. VILIFY implies attempting to destroy a reputation by open and direct abuse . CALUMNIATE imputes malice to the speaker and falsity to the assertions . DEFAME stresses the actual loss of or injury to one's good name . SLANDER stresses the suffering of the victim .

I would love to encourage you to read a book that a friend gave me. It's called, "Created to be His Help Meet," by Debi Pearl.

Now this will challenge you in what you already believe about marriage. (I've read LOTS of books on marriage, but this one is VERY CONVICTING) She tells how Biblical marriage is SUPPOSED to look. The book may seem harsh in some places, but EVERYTHING that she says she backs with scripture. After all, it's GOD'S WORD that brings LIFE! Amen??

I'd like to leave you with something I found at

May 2001
A Wise Woman Builds Her House
By: Debi Pearl

A wise woman doesn’t take anything for granted. She is thankful to be loved and seeks to make herself more lovely.

A wise woman doesn’t allow herself to be a liability but strives to be an asset to the marriage bond. She looks for ways to make, save, and use money wisely. Her husband knows he is a richer man because she is his wife.

A wise woman seeks to be a part of her husband’s life. His interest becomes her interest. She looks for ways to help him in every endeavor in which he is involved. When he needs a helping hand, it is her hand that is there first.

A wise woman knows that his peace of mind (and sometimes, wise understanding) is something she can give or take away by her observations and conversation concerning circumstances or people. She limits her conversation to the positive.

A wise woman sets a joyful mood in the household. She uses laughter, music and happy times to stir the children to a positive, joyful frame of mind. She knows this light-heartedness helps take stress off her husband.

A wise woman gauges her husband’s needs. She seeks to fulfill his desires before even he is aware of them. She never leaves him daydreaming outside the home. She supplies his every desire.

A wise woman understands that her husband’s need to be honored is not based on his performance but on his position. She learns quickly to defer with enthusiasm to his ideas or plans. She looks for ways to reverence him. She knows this is God’s will for her life.

A wise woman is not pitiful, puny, or whinny. She seeks to be confident, capable and thankful.

A wise woman does not dream of what “could have been.” She sees clearly that she is not God’s gift to men; thus she is blessed in her present circumstances. She learns to be content.

A wise woman never expects anyone to serve her; therefore she is never disappointed. She is ready to help—a giver. By her example her children learn to serve cheerfully and energetically.

A wise woman doesn’t attempt to instruct her husband through feigned questions. Her questions are sincere inquiries concerning his will.

A wise woman is always learning. She is open to change. She is ready to hear. She wants to know. She doesn’t cloud her mind with the foolish folly of entertainment. She uses her time wisely.

Before I sign off today I'd like to invite you over to my friend Susan's blog. She has written so beautifully on this topic today. She's been a spiritual giant in my life! I know you'll be blessed!


Lori said...

this is my first visit to your blog. I love "Marriage Monday". Getting to know knew bloggers is so exciting. You bring out some very good points in your post on submission.

I read a little bit about the lose of your son. I'll be back to read the rest. I lost a son to crib death when he was 3 months old. That was very hard but I fear it would have been much harder if he were to be 10.

May God keep blessing you as you serve Him.


Anonymous said...

I love how you looked at submission from a perspective other than Ephesians 5. I admit I'm guilty for only using that passage over on my blog, too. I had not thought of using anything else!

Thanks for the book recommendation. I've written it down to check out in the near future.

I really enjoyed looking through your blog. It is beautifully written. My heart just breaks over your loss of Brent. My prayers are with your family. I will return soon. Your complete dependence on God makes reading your entries wonderful. Thanks!!

Susan said...

Good Marriage Monday Tonya!

Wow, you are something. This post was just incredible. I love the way you looked deeper into the whole issue, truly the "heart of the matter".

Once again you have blessed me and CHALLENGED me in my walk with the Lord.

I started the book you blessed me with, looks like I better finish reading it. I keep getting distracted with this computer! He He...



Anonymous said...

loved the way you approached it by getting out there the permanance of God's Word, and then going in to submission! i left a huge comment over at Overflowing Grace, but i just want to say a big AMEN to this post! God Bless!

Jana said...

Thank you for your thoughts on this. I like the Pearls' writings and will have to check out that book.

Living Beyond said...

This is my first visit to you and the moment I saw your blog - the header - the colours, it just made me smile inside.

I just sobbed my heart out over your son. I have been married for 13yrs and I do not have children. But my hert just broke over your lose. I'm so thankful you know Jesus and your son does now - 'face to face'

Thank you for your marriage Mondays post. I am loving this thread and loving meeting so many wonderful Christian ladies. What a thrill.

Thank you for the book referral too

e-Mom said...

It's such a pleasure to meet you. It's evident that you have an abiding faith in God's Word! I'll look into the book you've recommended, thanks.

These words of yours spoke to me today: Oh my! I wonder how many serious arguments might have been avoided in my home if I had always done things GOD'S way? Yes, submission my be hard at times, but isn't GOD'S way is SO MUCH BETTER THAN ours? I'm not speaking as one who thinks she's got it "together." I've learned over MANY years (15 years of marriage) and through much disobedience to GOD, that HIS WAY IS BEST.

How true! Thanks for linking up at Marriage Monday. :~)

I was so sorry to learn of your son's passing. Hugs 'n prayers, e-Mom

Anonymous said...

I really enjoy how much scripture you use when you are posting. I love the Word of God so very much. I also enjoyed reading what you shared from the book, "A Wise Woman Builds Her House". I will be looking for that book! It is now on my Christmas list.

Connie Marie said...

Your post on submission came in from a totally different perspective, it is good. Thanks for sharing a new way to look at being submissive. I love the fact that God never changes, so therefore His word applies to us just as it did to the early Christian's and my submission in marriage pleases Him.

Joyfulsister said...

Thanks for recommending that book I will look through it when I take my trip to borders, I'm sorry to hear about your son,I can feel it in my heart as I read your words about him , he was a fighter yet he knew the Lord and that is some comfort there. And to know one day there will be a family reunion in heaven Aloha Joyful