"Why do our days seem so unimportant, filled not with romance and adventure but with duties and demands? We feel unseen, even by those who are closest to us. We feel unsought--that no one has the passion or the courage to pursue us, to get past our messiness to find the woman deep inside. And we feel uncertain--uncertain what it even means to be a woman; uncertain what it truly means to be feminine; uncertain if we are or will ever be...And in all the exhortations we have missed the most important thing of all. We have missed the heart of a woman.
Quote taken from: "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge
My SWEET friend Susan told me about this subject and encouraged me to post on it. I must admit, there have been SO MANY things vying for my time... as well as things that LIFE deals us. I'm HAPPY to finally "come out of hiding" and join in... even if it IS late.
I'm going to take a different approach and try to pull "negative" ideas from this quote and make them positive. So... the first part is what REALLY caught my attention. No, I can't say that... the whole quote stirs many emotions inside me. I'm SO PASSIONATE about what GOD CAN DO in our lives - because I KNOW what HE'S done in MINE!
First, the quote seems to be focused on "self." There is a neat method to true JOY.
J - Jesus FIRST
O - Others SECOND
Y - YOU LAST
The "world" encourages us to be all about self. GOD DIDN'T create us for this. We were created in HIS OWN IMAGE. We were created to WORSHIP & GLORIFY HIM. If we run around screaming, Me! Me! ME!!!! Then HOW does it bring HIM glory? YES, there have been times in my life that I've felt alone. (At times there still are) However, when we put our eyes on JESUS and all that HE has done then everything else is so small it doesn't matter.
Second, we (as married women) were created to be a "help meet."
And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
1 Corinthians 11:9
neither was man created for woman, but woman for man
It is GOD'S calling on our lives for us to be "keepers of the home....."
4Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.
IF we are doing these things, and they are GOD'S calling (and not our own) then how can we NOT be fulfilled?
Sisters, if you're feeling alone in your marriage - and are wishing your husbands would be "this or that" then I've got "a word" for you. It's a lesson learned the hard way. We (again, speaking from my own experience) tend to want to change the men in our lives thinking we'd then have "the perfect marriage." GOD has shown me that I had to change MYSELF FIRST! I know that I've quoted from "Created to be His Helpmeet" before, but it's worth mentioning again. I learned from this book (that was BASED on the BIBLE) that we were created for the man... and not he for us. I learned the power of a smile. (I'm home with two little boys all day - BELIEVE ME, there have been days that I wanted to run SCREAMING as soon as my husband walked through the door) We MUST be careful how we respond to the men that GOD has given us. There are and always will be women out there who WILL show our husbands the respect due him. They WILL smile at him and laugh at his jokes. Don't think for one moment that the devil isn't out there waiting to POUNCE on our marriages. If given the chance, he'll take us under.
Now, I don't mean to come across as a "know it all" because I DEFINITELY have MUCH to learn. HOWEVER, there are younger women out there who have yet to learn the lessons I have. I want to be obedient to GOD'S WORD and the "Titus 2 woman" that GOD has called me to be.
Perhaps if we "remember our first love" we WILL have the marriage we desire.
Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love.
Yes, after reading MANY books (by Christian authors) I've learned the importance of treating my man as a king. To show him respect by NOT questioning his every move/decision. I've read the importance of not "back talking" him. He's NOT going to be won over by nagging, fussing or even screaming. It's a quiet and submissive heart that GOD desires, should we expect any less from our husbands? If we start to view him as our "head" or "leader" or even our "king" of our homes... he WILL take notice and treat us differently. (Remember, Sarah in the Bible called Abraham "lord" as a show of respect)
As for feeling feminine, or missing the heart of a woman - well, I can honestly say that I've never felt more feminine than when I FINALLY gave up the battle to "rule our home" and started seeing myself in the role I was created for. To be my husband's servant - to be his HELPMEET.