Prayer Request - Update

Hello, Friends....

I said I'd check back to update on my Mam-Maw, so here goes.......

What she has is called Aspiration Pneumonia. While reading about it in the hospital yesterday it seems that it happens when food or liquid is accidentally inhaled. There were reasons listed why this might happen, and one of those was if the person has had a stroke. We suspect that may be what happened. They did a CT (cat scan) yesterday and it was clear. They'll do another one in a few days.

We visited a couple of times yesterday - she is NOTHING like she was just a couple of weeks back. My grandma has ALWAYS been VERY ALERT, chatty (even as she's aged and her words were harder to come out). Last night, they "called the family in."

As of around midnight her breathing had gotten better and she seemed to be resting a little better, although she's still running fever. (Her breathing had become shallow earlier)

I'll be going back down there around 7 and will probably spend most of the day. If anything changes I'll let you know as soon as possible.

THANKS SO MUCH for your prayers!
Love,
Tonya

A Prayer Request

Hello, Friends...

I'm checking in quickly to share a prayer request. I'm sure you've all heard me mention my 101 year old grandma. (Better known as "Mam-Maw") Well, tonight the nursing home called my Mom and told her they were about to "pump" my Grandma's lungs. They then called back to ask if any of the family would be coming in and my Mom told them she was on her way.

When she arrived, a nurse told her they'd pulled a lot of fluid and that she was "better, but not good." They said she has pneumonia in one of her lungs, then reminded my Mom that pneumonia isn't good for a YOUNG person, much less someone who's 101 years old. (She's also been in congestive heart failure for a while now)

I honestly don't know how to ask you to pray... My Mam-Maw is a Christian and is ready to meet her LORD. She's lived a long and good life. (Hard, but with many blessings) However, as you all know, it's never easy to think about saying "goodbye" to a loved one.

Please just ask that GOD's will be done... if it's that she be healed, then pray for comfort and joy as she lives out her last years. If it's that she go HOME, then I ask that you pray that GOD will prepare our hearts to let her go.

I'll check in again as soon as I know anything different.

THANKS SO MUCH!
Love,
Tonya

My late post from the 4th (Yes, of JULY!)

Hello, Friends!

I thought I'd try to "backtrack" and do a post that I think I told you about a while back. I had a total "GOD EXPERIENCE" back around the 4th of July and I've been wanting to share it, but I had to take the time to load the picture that goes with the story. It was AMAZING.. a TRUE GIFT from our LORD!

SO, I know I've mentioned before how hard the holidays are for us. In some ways, it doesn't feel any different (because we MISS Brent EVERY day) and in other ways... it just seems to make us more AWARE that he's just not here.

Well, the 4th was one of Brent's ALL TIME FAVORITE holidays. I was excited this year about the upcoming family fun, and yet my heart was breaking because he wasn't here. I remembered how Brent used to look forward to going with Pap-Paw Sam to get the hog. I remembered how he loved to stay up late (to be the first to get to the ribs) ;-) I remembered all of the other things he loved about it.

So... I'd been battling a little "spell of depression" as the day had finally arrived. (It was actually July 3, but that's when half the fun always began) I'd been doing some cleaning in the house, and as I mentioned feeling a little down when I found it...

"IT" was a little note that Brent had made for me some time back. To be honest, I don't even remember ever getting it. I have NO IDEA WHEN he made it, or why. All that I know was that I couldn't have needed it more than I did that day.




As I said, I don't ever remember seeing it before. I think maybe that made it even more special. It was almost like it was Heaven-sent! (No, I don't REALLY think it was, but it sure felt like it!)

I hate that I didn't get to share my special story before now. As I've mentioned earlier, this has been one BUSY summer. I'm quite thankful it has been.. I've noticed that it's been a little harder in recent days to redirect my thoughts when I start to get down. It seems to be that way for the boys too. At least for Gabe. (He's our youngest.. at 7 years old) There have been so MANY times lately that he's started crying and saying he misses Brent. Yes, I KNOW we're all supposed to still miss him. It'd be crazy to think otherwise. I guess what I'm saying is that for some reason the "missing him" has been a little more frequent. As I say that, I'll ask you to please remember us as we approach the fall - January 2. Maybe we're subconsciously recognizing that this IS the time of year when things started to go REALLY wrong?

Okay, since we do serve an AMAZING GOD, I MUST share some of the GOOD things that we're experiencing right now. As I think I've mentioned.. we've really been working on being consistent with our disciplining the boys. I didn't realize that a little time spent "NOT letting things go" in areas such as attitude, how quickly they respond to us, and how they treat each other could have a MAJOR IMPACT on them. With all of that said, we HAVE been more consistent. I've responded with scripture as well as rebuke... and oh my, the transformation has been GLORIOUS! They're so pleasant to be around... school is going better... and they're actually learning not to fight with each other. (This is part of what's been bothering Gabe. He's been miserable, taunted even, by memories of himself being mean to Brent)

All of THAT to share this sweet video. It's of Gabe attempting to quote some scripture they're memorizing. You'll hear me correcting him (by offering a word or two) in attempt to help him make it through. Oh, and I'll post the passage so you can read it as he quotes it. It'll be just below the video. (Oh, the video has to be "approved" by "Godtube." If it's not here now, check back) =-)

1 Peter 3:8-9 (New Living Translation)

8 Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters.[a] Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. 9 Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it.




Alrighty, I'm going to sign off now. Before I do, I want to say, "THANKS," for all of the encouraging messages you've left. I hope to get around to responding to them REALLY SOON! I'd been saying our computer connection was really slow, but I've almost decided that it's our dinosaur computer rather than the provider. I'm thinking of buying Link (and myself) a new desktop for our anniversary. He will LOVE it since he's learned to "play around" online and I will too! It'd be SO NICE to be able to actually get around faster. It takes SOOOOOOOOOO LONG for our pages to load. (Okay, I'm supposed to do all things without grumbling or complaining.. so I think it's time for me to go - BEFORE I get myself into trouble... HA!!!!!!)

WHOOPS... one last thing...

PLEASE, if you see Gabe somewhere... PLEASE DO NOT tell him you saw this?? O;-)

100th post

Morning my Friends!

I cannot believe it's been SO LONG since I've last posted. This summer has FLOWN by! I've been gardening like CRAZY, trying to keep the house running, and attempting to make the most of every moment with the boys. I promise to update again soon to fill you in.. for now. I'll go. This update will be LONG enough without any added rambling. LOL!!!



Thanks SO MUCH for keeping check! I'll "talk" with you soon? =-)







100 things about me-

1) I was born in on November 12, 1973

2) I am the firstborn of 2 girls.

3) My sister's name is Kerry, she's been my best friend since, well since FOREVER!

4) I was raised in part by my godly Grandmothers (while parents worked)

5) My family (all offspring from my Mom's Mom) boasts children, grands, great grands and great - great grands all while my grandmother is still alive. (There are more than 150 of us)

6) I've been taught about GOD and salvation through faith in Christ my entire life. There has NEVER been a day that I didn't "believe."

7) I'm not sure when my salvation experience happened. I remember asking GOD to save me at a pretty young age, but it wasn't until I was grown and married that I ever KNEW for SURE. (I never got in the WORD and developed a relationship with CHRIST before then. All those times before I was merely going on what I'd heard preachers say)


8) My first "best friend" was Dallas Byars. Her family moved and she went to another school very early on. My other "best friends" in elementary school were Holly, Robyn, and my cousins Stephanie and Michelle.

9) In high school my very best friend was Brad Tomlinson. We got into more "stuff" than I can recall. My sister and I being the "dingbats" that we were decided to do something nice for him one day. We picked up his car and took it to wash it up. It was REALLY MUDDY! Guess how we got the mud off??? Brillo pads. No, I'm not kidding... and YES, we really were that DITZY! He was sweet and NEVER said a word - even though we put some nice circular scratches in his paint job.

10) I was a bit nerdy up until around the 7th or 8th grade. (LOL!) I didn't "fit in" anywhere. Because of this I'm EXTREMELY sensitive to EVERYONE's needs and burdens. I know what it's like to be an outcast.

11) When I FINALLY started "coming out" I was on the homecoming court every year until my senior year. Then I was crowned homecoming queen.

12) I've had VERY FEW close friendships in my life. I TRULY TREASURE those that I have, and the new ones I make.

13) My first jobs included babysitting, waitressing, then working at a daycare center

14) I recently shared how Link & I met, it was in my junior year of high school. You can read about it here.

15) Link wanted to ask me to marry him on the night I graduated, but the ring wasn't ready.

16) We married on September 4, 1992.

17) We honeymooned in our first home - a mobile home.

18) I was CRAZY enough to think that by marrying on Labor Day weekend that from then on we'd ALWAYS go out of town and do something "special" since it WAS a holiday after all. HA!!!!!!!!!!!!! Little did I know it was the opening of Dove season.

19) For fun, Link used to take me to the go cart tracks in a local town.

20) I wanted babies almost IMMEDIATELY - Link didn't care, so our quest for children began pretty soon after we married

21) Thinking I'd never have a baby of my own, I used to cry as my friends and some close family members were one by one finding out that they were "with child"

22) Being naive I failed to make the connection and realize why we weren't conceiving. (I later learned there was only ONE day out of the whole month that this is possible - give or take a day or two depending on perfect circumstances)

23) Finally, we learned our first baby was due! I say "we"... I took the test while I was at home, but it wasn't confirmed until I went to the doctor's office. I called Link while he was out with his Daddy and told him our GREAT news!

24) Our firstborn was a son. We named him "Lincoln Brent Nason." (Lincoln is my husband's birth name and he was named after his father so Brent was actually named in part after his daddy and grampa)

25) Two years later (almost to the date) we had our second child - Zachary David Nason. (My dad's name is David - thus Zach's middle name)

26) I became pregnant again and was expecting our third child in August 2000. I found out in my first trimester that the baby had been dead for 3 weeks. (I never showed any signs of miscarriage. We only found out because they couldn't find it's heartbeat at my next appointment)

27) Three months later we were "expecting" again. Again, we had a beautiful baby boy. His name is Gabriel Reed Nason. Link suggested the name "Gabe." When I looked up the meaning I found it meant "God is my Strength," since we'd just lost a baby it was PERFECT! Gabe's middle name was chosen because it's my Mam-Maw's maiden name.

28) Our life was all "happily ever after" until we learned that Brent had cancer.

29) One of the worst days of my life was hearing those survival rates - 1/3 - 1/4 chance beyond two years. After relapse, there was no hope given.

30) Brent was my other "VERY BEST FRIEND!" He'd gotten old enough that enjoyed "running to town with Mama."

31) Some of my fondest memories are of trips that Brent & I made alone to Memphis.

32) My first time on an airplane EVER was when we took Brent to Vermont in hopes of finding a cure for him. I'll never forget how he took my hand when that plane took off (he could see the fear on my face) and said, "It's okay, Mom, I'm here."

33) Some of the most frightening days of my life were those spent in Vermont.

34) The most horrible day of my life was on January 2, 2007 - the day Brent went HOME to be with the LORD. (Although there were so many hard days before that as we watched him endure unbelievable pain, yet he maintained the sweetest attitude)

35) I've had to learn how to stop doing things in "threes." (My first really hard memory after coming back home was the morning after he passed. I went to fix the boys some chocolate milk and out of habit I removed three cups from the cabinet)

36) I've learned that JESUS truly IS my ROCK! HE'S my JOY in midst of my heartache.

37) I've learned that it's okay to meet with other believers in our homes (There is no calling for buildings to be built in the New Testament. I'm not saying that to make you think your way of church is wrong, just in defense of our way)

38) We started meeting in homes after we lost Brent. The church we'd been members of had built a new sanctuary and our first time back in was for Brent's wake and funeral. After that, it was just too hard.

39) We met with some friends and as we studied God's Word we realized that we weren't doing anything wrong in meeting the way we were so we eventually quit pushing ourselves to go back.

40) We base how we meet on 1 Corinthians 14.

41) Yes, I know this is going in every direction but I'm trying to figure out how in the world I'll make it to 100! LOL!!!

42) We just celebrated my Mam-Maw's turning 101! (Her birthday was July 30)

43) I had my first "real" garden this year)

44) Now I have MORE cucumbers than I know what to do with! (If you live near us and would like some... PLEASE, call me?) =-)

45) I went into the corn field for the first time EVER this year. (The grass is nearly as tall as I am in there! Okay, so I'm only about 5'3"... still, it was CREEPY!)

45) I learned that pulling corn can be a dangerous sport! (I managed to slice the tip of one finger - the cut was REALLY deep! I also had about 3 other cuts on my hand. Those felt and looked like the ones you'd get from paper cuts)

46) I also learned that carrying corn on your arms will make you ITCH like CRAZY later!

47) I'm happy to say that I survived my corn-pickin' ordeal. HEHEHEHE!

48) I'm thinking there is NO way POSSIBLE that I'm going to be able to post 100 things about myself in this update!

49) Did I mention that I have 4 nieces and one nephew?

50) Did I mention that I LOVE babies??

51) After having 3 boys I ESPECIALLY enjoy hanging with the girls. ;-)

52) YIKES!!! I'm only a little more than halfway through and I've got NOTHING!

52) Okay, I think I forgot to mention that I homeschool our boys?

53) My favorite colors are yellow, pink, orange, peach, green, and lime green

54) My favorite foods are ANYTHING Mexican, most anything Italian, burgers, salads, and of course FRIED chicken. (LOL!) Yes, that explains why I'm not the dainty little thing I was when Link & I married

55) I have blue eyes - LOL! (Getting stressed here... nowhere close to 100 yet!)

56) Did I mention that I HATE bugs??? YEP, there are only about two that I'll actually pick up

57) I don't like snakes

58) I don't like sticks that look like snakes

59) I don't like to look inside some one's eye (As if I were looking for a bug or something... it grosses me out)

60) I've never been hospitalized for anything other than having babies.

61) With our last baby (Gabe) I was only in for a day and a half. (I've been REALLY BLESSED with SUPER FAST recoveries)

62) After losing Brent, Link & I have grown TREMENDOUSLY CLOSER! GOD took something TERRIBLE and brought a BLESSING out of it! Our marriage is better than ever now

63) I used to hate football, but learned to love it when Brent & Zach started playing

64) My favorite pro teams are NY Giants, Indianapolis Colts, and I also enjoy the Green Bay Packers

65) Brent's favorite college team was MSU (Mississippi State Bulldogs) so that's the one we pull for! We also like Ole Miss.. UNLESS they're playing State.

66) I don't care much for reading, but I do love my Bible

67) One of the other greatest books EVER is, "Created To Be His Helpmeet" by Debi Pearl. If you apply the biblical principals t will CHANGE YOUR MARRIAGE for the better!!!!!!!!

68) Two of the hardest principals from the book (and also the Bible) are for me to be submissive to Link in ALL circumstances (no I don't always get it right) and for me to keep my mouth SHUT! (I mean realizing that he can find a parking spot without me.. (Imagine that??)

69) JESUS is my EVERYTHING! (Yes, that SHOULD'VE been NUMBER ONE on this list of 100 things..)

70) One of my VERY BEST FRIENDS was a lady I met though our son's websites. Her name is Susan and she is ONE AMAZING LADY!

71) I'm NOT looking forward to our boys growing up! (I don't want them to leave me) =-(

72) I'm praying for godly women for each of them!

73) I know that GOD is AWESOME even when what HE does doesn't make sense to us

74) I've learned that we can't always pull a scripture from the Bible and "claim it."

75) We made that mistake when praying for Brent's healing. We have to remember that ONE verse that says "If we ask anything according to HIS WILL."

76) Those "name it and claim it" teachings are WRONG! The Bible teaches over and over that we (as Christians) should EXPECT struggles and trials!

77) I'm thankful that I don't need a human to go to GOD for me (as was in the Old Testament) JESUS is that BEAUTIFUL Life-line that keeps GOD'S children in CONSTANT contact with HIM!

78) I've made MANY mistakes and wrong choices in my life. I'm also thankful for 1 John 1:9. It tells us that if we confess our sins HE is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from ALL unrighteousness! (GLORY, GLORY!)

79) Random again.. I'm trying desperately to make it to 100.... One of our favorite Christian singers is Jeremy Camp. Our friend Mark Horrocks from Habitat for Hope arranged for Brent to get to meet him!



80) I love the smell of a clean baby! (Random again, I know)

81) I LOVE to hear my boys ramble... SOMETIMES! LOL!!

82) I wish there were more hours in the day! O=-)

83) I wish I were more BOLD for Christ!

84) I WISH there was a CURE for cancer! =-/

85) I pray that our next president will be chosen not based on the color of his skin, or the party that he represents, but based on his MORALS and convictions

86) My favorite seasons are fall and spring (Random again, but I'm ALMOST there!)

87) I LOVE the newness of Spring - the colors and the smells

88) I LOVE to watch the colors change in the Fall - and the COOL AIR that starts to pour in!

89) I LOVE HUGS & KISSES from our boys (and of course Link)

90) I love to snuggle

91) I'm THANKFUL for the TRUE friends that GOD has blessed me with (Did I say that already)

92) I'm thankful for all of YOU, my online friends!

93) I'm THANKFUL that this list is almost ended and I apologize if I made you sleepy... HA!!

94) I LOVE that my family lives close by

95) I'm fascinated with weather and space - GOD'S CREATION is mind-boggling!

96) WHOO-HOO! This is ALMOST DONE! I'm getting TIRED!

97) I wish that everyone I know and love would accept JESUS as their LORD and SAVIOR! (He IS the Christ - email me, let's talk if you don't believe?) =-)

98) I'm getting hungry

99) I think I'll have an egg sandwich for breakfast - HA!!!!!!!!

100) I LOVE & APPRECIATE you for sitting through this! Again, my apologies for keeping you. Hehehehe

My 99th Post... :-)

Hello, Friends!

I mentioned a few days ago that I'd be back and share pictures from our 4th. I have a special story to share and will have a photo to go with it, but it seems that it will have to wait for another day... this will be another busy one. (My sister's garden is "coming in" and we're going to go and help her "shell beans.")

So, I suppose this will be the first of a two part 4th of July update. I hope you won't mind waiting. O=-)

Until then.. these are some pictures from our 4th celebration with my husband's family. ;-)


The first two photos are of Zach & Gabe with Addison & Lora Beth (Link's sister, Virginia's daughters)and the now famous Allie Grace (She's Link's youngest sister, Elizabeth's baby)






This is Gabe with "Pap-Paw Sam" (Link's Dad)





The beginning of a "group shot" (Our children of course don't know how to behave when having their pictures made... HA!!!!!!)







Sweet little Allie Grace - all played out, in her Daddy's arms...






Alrighty, that's it for today. Oh, my next post will be my 100th. Man, it's going to be hard to finish that one.... hehehehe

Cleaning up

Hello, Friends!

It's BEEN FOREVER (again) since I've posted. I seem to get overwhelmed when I get behind.. which leads to even MORE procrastination. It's a never ending cycle with me. Hehehe..

Before I start rambling, I'd like to say THANKS to each of you who've visited and have left words of encouragement. I can't say how much I appreciate YOU! Our internet connection isn't the best and I'm afraid I may not be able to respond to each one. I DO HOPE to get caught up and visit each of you soon!

Now, this post itself will be "short-n-sweet." I don't have a lot of time but didn't want to let another day go without checking in. (I've MISSED You all!)

So.. I do have some 4th pictures to share, but there's a lot of story that needs to go with them so I'll save it for my next post. With that said... I'll move on to the photos below. =-)

I've been gently nagging reminding my sweet hubby that there was a REALLY BIG, really DEAD tree in our yard that NEEDED to GO! It not only was an eyesore, it was an accident waiting to happen. (After a storm a big limb fell with such force that it literally stuck into the ground - it was standing STRAIGHT UP!)

SOOOOOOO... His crew was moving from one job to another and he had them swing by and drop off his bulldozer. Zach is pictured below watching the truck driver unload it. (Don't you know this was one of the grandest of all "toys" to our 10 year old boy?) ;-)






You can't really SEE Link in this picture, but he's in the dozer going after the tree..







TIMBEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (A dorky attempt at sound-effects! HA!)







Now of COURSE the boys couldn't wait to go and SEE the damage! (What IS it with boys like that??) Hehehehe




Okay, I'll check in again soon. Today I have the little princess and I'm "working" during nap time. ;-) (Oh, in case you don't know who "the princess" is... it's our beautiful niece, Allie Grace!)


Have a WONDERFUL weekend!

Better late than never? O=-)

Hello, Friends...

It's been another long stretch since I've updated, so I thought I'd check in quickly just to say that we're "okay." This summer has been a busy one - and that's always a good thing. (As always, we're MISSING Brent like crazy)

Link's been busy at work, the boys have been lots of help around the house, and I'm staying busy doing that wife/mom/help-meet thing. =-) Oh, and our garden is GREAT! The boys want to go out "first thing" each morning to see how the veggies are growing. (It's CRAZY how fast the cucumbers grow!!) Funny, they're so into watching the stuff - they'd run screaming like girls if you tried to get them to eat any of it. HA!!!!!!!!!

Oh, before I go... I hope to get TONS of pictures on the 4th and will be sharing those as quickly as I can get them loaded. It's been a long time since I've made pictures of the boys and girls together. We actually don't have any of them (Addison, Lora Beth, Zach and Gabe) with Allie Grace. We're hoping to get some really great family pictures! Again, I'll share them ASAP!

I hope all is well with each of you, and want to say THANKS for stopping by! I PROMISE to do a better update soon. (We always appreciate your prayers too) ;-)

See ya after the 4th? (If not before)

Love,
Tonya

Favorite Foto Friday - Daddy & Me

Yesterday was the first time I've posted in almost two weeks. In the post (just below) I used several "Daddy & Me" type pictures. If you'd like to see those too, just skip past all of the "Blah, blah, BLAH!" and check them out. Hehehehe!





Happy "FFF!" For more posts on this "FFF" visit Sarah at Kiss the Frog 4 Me.

Get comfie, this is a LONG one! Hehe

Hello, my sweet friends...

WOW, I can hardly believe it's been almost two weeks since my last post. I'm struggling to try to remember where all this time has gone. Perhaps I can just start as far back as I can remember and hit the highlights? O:-)

Okay, first - if there are any men readers here that happen to be someone's daddy, then I'd like to wish you a belated, VERY HAPPY Father's Day! My apologies for not getting my "well wishes" out BEFORE your big day. Fatherhood is a truly amazing gift that GOD has given the men in our lives. Being a parent is such a blessing and I do hope that it's never taken for granted. (I say this because I've done just that with the gift of being a mom to our little ones) I ashamedly tell you that I've missed so many moments that I'll never get back doing things that could've waited. All of that said to say that I hope and pray that we realize the role we play in our children's lives and that we'll cherish every moment.

Link is an AMAZING daddy and it's always pure JOY to watch him play with our boys! Here are a few pics of him with our little men...












This one almost brings tears to my eyes... You can see Link's love for Brent as he gently caresses his head.. at the same time you can almost see his heart breaking






Okay.. I'm going to move on with our rewind.... or I'll end up "a mess" and this will be another post that will end up abandoned before I ever get started.



We were blessed to be able to keep my sister's children last week while she and her husband celebrated their anniversary. (15 years, I think?) Yes, having 2 extra kiddos around was a lot of fun! ESPECIALLY when it's those two! Ashley has become one of my very best friends (she's almost 14!).

Clay was Brent's best bud and is now filling the role of a much missed older brother. He and the boys get out and ride through the pasture (they're happiest when it's nice and muddy)! They like to build things together, play games, and do lots of other wild and crazy boy things. (Most I'm sure they hope we won't learn about... hehe)

Ashley took good care of me while she was here. She helped keep the housework done and was great mental support as I conquered some work in Brent's room. I'm in one of those places that I wanted to do SOMETHING, but I didn't really want to change what was his. SOOO... I bought some new bedding - a comforter that I KNOW he'd have LOVED and I started hanging some of his things.

We were given a nice tapestry by Link's family when we lost Brent. It's got three beautiful bucks on it. Two over to one side, and one on the other. They said it was "our three bucks." Well, since Brent LOVED to hunt I thought it was only fitting to hang it above his bed. There's also a photo of Zach & Gabe that I had blown up - it's on canvas... it's now hanging on the wall in Brent's room. I KNOW that Brent would LOVE the new look of his room and I think that kept me from feeling guilty about changing a few things.

I struggle at times with how to deal with things like that... I want to respect his memory, and yet there are things that I know he'd want to see changed. It's crazy... just more mental struggle that I suppose I'll have to work through.

My friend Kim asked about seeing the tapestry.. so I thought I'd go ahead and share some pictures of Brent's room. Now, let me add a disclaimer... I do NOT claim to be an interior decorator! Much of what you'll see are things that were there while Brent was still here. His door is EXACTLY as it was.. the things hanging on and around his windows are the same. Most of what I did was add new bedding and hang the tapestry (and some photos). I also put out more pics of Brent and the boys. One other thing.. the REALLY LOUD paint is from when we first built the house. It was "cute" with their stuff when they were 7, 5, and 2, maybe not so much now. However this is another of those "things" that I'm just not ready to change.










Well, that cleaning frenzy sparked another...
I cleaned out my closet and in doing so I found a box of baby things that I'd saved. Inside of Brent's baby book was the first store bought pregnancy test, the little band that was on his wrist (or was it his ankle?) while in the hospital, along with some other items. I started to flip through the pages of that baby book and began to read about the things he did at one month.. then two. I read (and remembered) how he used to like to twist my hair and sometimes suck on it to fall asleep. I attempted to tell Link of my find, but all I could get out was that I found the first copy of Brent's little foot... then I began to sob. He held me and reminded me that I'd have him back one day.. we just have to be patient.

So those are a few of the things that we've experienced lately.....

Now, to try to steer us back to happier thoughts... I've also kept Allie Grace a few times in recent days. You know I can't resist taking pictures! These are a few of my favorites of her....

Okay, I PROMISE that I'll try not to be gone so long the next time. I can't say how much I've missed all of you and how BLESSED I am to know that you're still checking in. Oh, I've also enjoyed reading all the sweet comments you've left. I hope to start making my way around to your blogs soon to start catching up. THANKS AGAIN for your support!

Another milestone behind us...

Hello, FRIENDS!

Wow... have I got some BIG news to share with you. No, we're not "expecting" or anything like that.... it's more of a "milestone" type thing. Okay... so here goes.....

As you probably all already know, we lost Brent in Memphis. Let me back up a bit and fill you in...

He was treated at St. Jude and when we were told there was nothing more to do we flew off to Vermont in a last attempt to save his life. When things became evident that all we were doing was prolonging his misery we knew we had to make some decisions. (He could no longer eat, sit up, feel his legs, and was in TREMENDOUS pain almost ALL the time) Link & I knew in our hearts that it was time to stop fighting GOD and allow HIM to take Brent HOME.

The decision was made to stop treatment. The next question - where did we want to be? We knew that Brent was MOST happy at St. Jude. It was his FAVORITE PLACE ON EARTH to go. (I know that may sound crazy.. but that's the kind of place St. Jude is)

We talked with our Nurse from there, who talked to the doctors and they graciously allowed us to bring Brent back. He spent his last days on earth, surrounded by family and friends, and all of his FAVORITE nurses at St. Jude. Now, I don't have to tell you how INCREDIBLY hard it was to walk out of that hospital the day he left us without him. I think Link & I both took on the attitude that it didn't matter to us if we NEVER saw that place again. Now, I say that, because of our GREAT LOVE for his doctor and nurses and our LONGING to see them again, I think we both knew we'd eventually go back.

So, this is our "big news." We left with some of our church group and headed to Memphis for a little mission project. You've probably all heard us talk about Habitat for Hope? They are the non-profit that walked "hand-in-hand" with us after Brent relapsed. It's headed up my Mark & Mylissa Horrocks. They themselves were with us down to the minute we walked out of the hospital for the last time. (They spent the morning with us the day that Brent went HOME to be with JESUS) They even walked us all the way to our truck when we left. I can't tell you how many times and ways they were there for us. I CAN tell you that they provided housing that allowed us to keep our family together the last year of Brent's life on earth. (See, St. Jude housing only allows 4 to their housing - there was 5 of us. I'm not "bashing" St. Jude.. YES, they absolutely have to have rules) It meant the world to use to have ALL of our boys together through this.

So.. fast forward a year, 5 months, and ONE day.

Mark had called my brother-in-law a few days earlier and asked if we could come up and help them on some projects they had going. (They've moved their own family to Memphis to assist families like ours. THEN they've opened their OWN home for families to stay in and visit while in treatment or in other children's hospitals) Of course our group was THRILLED to be able to go up and help out. We left on June 2. Yes, that's one year, 5 months and ONE day since we lost Brent. It was a VERY EMOTIONAL trip, but we both KNEW it was something we wanted to do.

God sent us GREAT comfort during this trip. Yes, that's one of the many jobs of the Holy Spirit - HE's our COMFORTER as well as so many other things. I won't lie.. there were MANY tears shed as we traveled the same path we'd taken Brent so many times for treatment and checkups. Yet, our hearts were at peace as we were reminded that he's NOT trapped in a cancer-ridden body any longer. He's NOT crippled, or sad, or lonely... he's with his JESUS! Can you IMAGINE the JOY that his beautiful little heart is experiencing right now??? OH, we're SO THANKFUL that GOD provided a Way for us to be TOGETHER again!

Guess what else??? We not only went to the "Hope House," we also went TO St. Jude. Link & I BOTH wanted to see our nurses so BADLY! Again, it was hard - but it was another HUGE milestone that we've gotten behind us. The bad thing??? We only got to see just a few of them. (Joni, Nekeyah (sp?), Yen, and Morgan)

There were at least three others that we DESPERATELY wanted to see and MISSED them all. Mrs. Joann was one of them. She was Brent's "D Clinic" nurse, but she was SO MUCH MORE to him! He LOVED to pick on her and play pranks on her (along with some of his other nurses). He told me just days before he left us that he "REALLY LOVED Mrs. Joann!" I said, "Sweetie, you should tell her." He quickly asked that we go and bring her back into the room... of course he expressed his LOVE and was SO HAPPY that he did. (She was more like a second mom to him... I CANNOT tell you how crazy he was over her!) With all of that said... we REALLY, REALLY, REALLY WANTED to see her.. but we didn't! We'd just missed her by about an hour. UGH!!!!!!!!! Oh well, it's more incentive to go and visit again - and hopefully SOON! There are so many more sweet ladies that took such wonderful care of Brent and we'd LOVE to see (and HUG) them all!

Now, to quickly sum up the trip....
It was EMOTIONAL.. bittersweet.. but OH SO WONDERFUL! We're VERY THANKFUL to have made this journey back to Memphis with our family/friends. (My sister and her family went as well as David & Joye Patterson and their son Drew... and Brent's bud, "Mr. Brad") It was SO NEAT how GOD worked our first trip back out.. because EVERYONE that went (except for the Pattersons) were the EXACT same people that were there with us the day Brent left.. and they all made that long drive home with us that terrible day.

YES, GOD ALWAYS goes before us... HE prepares our hearts for what's to come and WALKS BESIDE us through the fire when that's the way we have to go. We serve a MIGHTY and LOVING GOD indeed!

Oh, I've talked all about this trip and mentioned our Memphis doctors and nurses... I don't want to sign off without saying "hello" to our care team from Vermont. We MISS all of you (both Memphis & Vermont) TERRIBLY! You all became such a TREMENDOUS part of our lives and we're FOREVER GRATEFUL for the love and care you showed Brent and our family. Hang in there... you're allowing your loving ways to be a MIGHTY TESTIMONY to GOD'S LOVE! WE LOVE YOU ALL!

Of course I can't sign off without thanking the rest of you for walking this journey with us as well. Your prayers and encouragement have meant the world to us. We LOVE YOU!

By and through HIS strength...
Tonya